Advent Activities 2015

It's that time again!  Tomorrow begins our 2015 Advent Activities and the return of Ollie, our Elf!  Life is about to get crazy fun!  

Our activities are based on our already full schedule so there are times we have to do morning activities, times Daddy is at work, times that not all the kids are home, and we won't throw in the fact that we try to make these things all our babies will enjoy (from little bitty to middle school age)... it's a lot to work around!  However, we love the memories we make doing all of these fun things.  Many are favorites we bring back year after year so they have become traditions that are near and dear to our hearts!  

So without further ado, here is what we'll be doing this year!

Our Advent "Calendar"

Christmas Charades

Snowman Donuts for Breakfast

Hot Chocolate by the Fire

Make Salt Dough Ornaments

Get A New Ornament

Visit Santa

Fancy Dinner

Reindeer Evangelists

Waffles and Ice Cream for Breakfast

S'mores by the Fire

Look at Christmas Lights

Grinch Movie Night

Christmas Pizzas

Christmas Bingo

Paper Snowflakes

Cinnamon Roll Trees for Breakfast

Snowman Sundaes

Christmas Party Day

Santa Hat Photo Shoot

Gingerbread Houses

Picnic by the Tree

Pedicures

Cookies for Santa

Open PJ's and Read Twas the Night Before Christmas

Many of these have a biblical basis (check out The ADVENTure of Christmas by Lisa Whelchel), and some are just good ol' fashioned fun!  I'm always happy to answer any questions about what on earth we are doing or how we've tied it into our faith!  I hope you follow along on Instagram (@mrsmarick) as I will be posting a pic there of each activity!

Wishing you all a wonderful Christmas season as we prepare to celebrate Christ's birth!

Love Her Well

Dear Kindergarten Teachers,

I appreciate the form you gave us to fill out so that you could get to know our children better, but I couldn't help but notice how small the space was underneath the section that asked if there was anything additional or special about our children that we wanted you to know.  Perhaps you didn't realize how special my Hadlie is so you had no idea that I would need more space.  

You see, Hadlie is going to walk in your room tall and brave tomorrow.  She'll do that because that's what Hadlie does.  She'll speak with confidence and make us all laugh before we leave.  She never misses an opportunity to be funny when she's with us.  But it's when we walk away that I need you to see into her eyes and into her soul.  I won't be there to tell you, so I'm trusting you'll know.

Hadlie will not seek attention nor will she cry.  But she will be just as nervous as the rest of the children.  Hadlie will not disobey or act out.  She is very fearful of getting in trouble.  In fact, should she accidentally do something that is displeasing to you, she will look very sad and withdraw into herself.  I tell you this because this is how she lets you know that it hurts her heart to see you disappointed.  She hates disappointing others.

My Hadlie will also sit alone and play alone.  Not because she lacks social skills or because she is not friendly, but because it doesn't bother her to play alone.  If she is not invited or encouraged to play with others, often times she will not.  My Hadlie is hesitant to include herself, but once she has been included she is well liked and tons of fun.  I need you to make sure she's included.  I will worry all day that she's not making friends.  I'm trusting that you'll make sure she does.

Hadlie will not ask you for help, and if she does I beg you to take the time to give it to her.  It is not lost on me that there are a zillion little people all vying for your attention tomorrow.  But she is not needy, and she will not ask for anything unless she really needs it.  She will speak quietly and appear very shy.  This is because she will feel nervous to actually speak to you.  I promise this will change by the end of the year.  

My girl is afraid to try things she may not be good at, and she fears getting an answer wrong.  Please do not mistake her for unintelligent.  Just keep encouraging her.  And praise her effort.  

I know so much of this may seem silly.  She's not the first kindergartner you've ever had.  I know, you've got this.  That's why you are the teacher!

But I am the parent, and tomorrow a piece of my heart will leave me for the first time in almost 6 years.  She will go to a place I will not be, with people I do not know, and make friends that I have not met.  I will miss seeing her smile light up the room when she learns something new, and I will miss the laughter that she fills our home with.  

I beg you to see what a light she is in the lives of all she meets.  She is smart, and funny, and she has the most beautiful soul.  She knows and loves Jesus in a way most cannot comprehend.  She is a proud big sister and an adored little sister.  Part of my heart beats solely because she exists in my world.  

Tomorrow I will hand you my baby girl, and you will introduce her to a world she must navigate without me.  Please love her well for me... 

Hadlie's Mom

Cooper's Birth Story

Today my sweet baby boy is one week old.  I figured it was time that I write down his birth story so one day I'll be able to share it with him.  So here goes...

On Thursday, March 26 at 37 weeks pregnant, we arrived at the hospital for my 6:00 AM induction.  Of course it was a slow process of checking in (why they have you pre-register, I do not understand because I'm not sure it sped anything up).  I believe it was around 7:45 AM by the time I was all hooked up and officially strapped to the IV pole.  It was an extremely calm morning, and I was actually getting frustrated because I didn't feel as if I was making any progress.  It showed I was having contractions, but it didn't feel like anything more than Braxton Hicks at the most.

Around 10 something my precious doctor came in and broke my water.  I was only at 3 centimeters at this point which only made me more frustrated.  However, the kids were there so for the most part I just chilled and took it all in.  About 10:30 AM I felt my first contractions and had the kids leave the room with my mom.  My sister and hubby stayed with me.  

It's amazing how your body works because by 11:00 AM I was hurting so badly!  I decided to forgo my natural childbirth plan and begged for an epidural.  The nurse checked me at 11:10 AM, and I was at 4 centimeters.  I remember looking at the clock and being so frustrated.  I was in tears by this point because I was now "in line" for an epidural, but I did not have one.  As I was crying and saying bad words through contractions (because I was in total control of myself, of course) I just felt something was wrong.  I kept telling the nurse I wanted to push because it felt good, and she was telling me not to.  I know she checked me somewhere in there because I remember her saying I was at an 8 and knowing that I wasn't going to get the epidural.  This only upset me more realizing I was going to have to do this because I was sure I couldn't.  (Not one of my prouder moments that day in the delivery room.)

By 11:30 I was ready to push as my doctor walked in.  She got me focused enough to push and reminded me that I didn't really want an epidural anyway.  I don't think she cared that I changed my mind in there.  I'll never forget how casual it was.  There was a room filled with people... most likely due to the fit I was having.  Honestly, I have no idea who they were or where they came from, but they were there watching.  My doctor just sat at the end of the bed.  No crazy stirrups or lights.  No blue surgery looking cover up thing.  Some gloves and a mask thing that I had to wait for her to put on, and then she let me push.  I pushed four times, and she laid my baby boy on stomach.  

The mixture of emotions was overwhelming.  He was here.  He was okay.  We had waited what felt like forever to know this.  I was okay, too.  And I felt such a relief of having him out of my body!  (If you've pushed a baby out, you know this instant feeling of relief.)

This was an experience like no other.  Not only was it fast and furious and oh so painful, but it was pretty amazing.  I've never had a natural birth before so feeling everything was such a different experience.  The labor itself, the pushing, all of it.  There is something so primal and beautiful about it while in the same moment it's painful and agonizing.  The human body is certainly amazing.  And I will forever be grateful that God knew I needed that experience... I needed to feel those moments of pain, fear, and failure before He victoriously brought my son into this world and into my arms.

I have had the honor of loving two little boys and being a "mom" to them both.  But there has been a longing in my heart to be the mother of a boy that I gave birth to.  I had honestly given up that dream, and I was so satisfied with my three precious babies.  I wrestled with the reason for this pregnancy, and I questioned God's plan more times than I believed in it.  

As I look back, I see all of this was part of His plan.  He saw fit that this pregnancy was viable when my heart wasn't in it.  He put it on my heart not to find out the sex of this baby, which would have provided the answer to so many "whys" for me.  He walked us through a valley of uncertainty with our baby's health.  He made sure I felt the struggle.  He made sure I had no where to go but to Him, even when He knew I didn't want to.  Even when He knew it was the hardest thing for me to do.  

On March 26 at 11:34 AM, I became the mother to a little boy weighing 5 lbs. 6 oz. measuring 18 1/2 inches long.  A part of me that was missing, is now whole.  Cooper Byron is my miracle... my redemption... my precious son.  God did THAT!

A side note - Choosing a name for a baby whose sex is unknown was a difficult task for us.  Many people have asked me what our name choices were since we kept a lot of things pretty hush hush.

For a girl we had it narrowed down to: 
Georgia Rae
Sadie Rae
Clara Rae
(Rae honoring my sister Rachel)

For a boy we had it narrowed down to:
Tripp Byron
Hayes Byron
Cooper Byron

In the end, we chose Cooper Byron.  We knew we wanted to honor my father by using his name as the middle name.  Then we looked at our family and who we are in this season of life.  When we described ourselves we came up with the words: Jesus, Gymnastics, and Baseball.  So it only seemed right that we chose Cooper taken from Cooperstown where the Baseball Hall of Fame resides.  We love our Mini Coop :)

Baby 4 - 35 Weeks

We went for our weekly visit to the perinatologist today so I thought I'd update.  (There really wasn't much to say last week so that's why I didn't post anything.)  

Today they measured Baby 4.  We are now a whopping 4 lbs. 5 oz.  The doctor seemed pleased with this growth.  (Almost a pound since they measured two weeks ago when we were 3 lbs. 9 oz.)  However, we are still on the tiny side for a normal 35 weeker.  So that means the same rules of kick counts and not doing anything continue.  In addition to that they have decided we will have the baby at 37 weeks.

The way the doctor explained it is that right now it appears that Baby 4 is just tiny with no other issues.  However, there really is no way to know this until baby arrives.  So she felt it would be best to let the baby get "full term", but not wait any longer so as not to risk any further complications.  I guess that all makes sense.  I'm really just going with the flow since I'm not in the baby doctor business.

I'm torn on how I feel about this because I really wanted to go into labor naturally this time.  I'm also ready to meet this baby, and I feel like a lot of my emotional stress will be gone once Baby 4 is actually in my arms.  I think this 37 week time frame gives us good odds for no NICU time (unless something is wrong, which I do not suspect).  I know that Baby 4 will be tinier than "average" so my hope is really just to get and stay over the 5 lb. mark, which I think we can easily do.

My nerves have calmed down since my last update.  I think it helps that we see one doctor or the other twice a week.  That's a lot of hearing the baby and seeing the baby so it's very reassuring.  My OB is also the most amazing person ever.  I was nervous at the beginning of the pregnancy about having a new doctor than my past pregnancies, but this has clearly been a "God thing".  

So all that to say... we have an induction date.  I'm only 1 cm. dilated right now so I suspect we'll move forward on the induction date and not sooner.  My next update should be that Baby 4 has arrived!

Thank you all for your prayers for Baby 4 and our family.  They have been felt, and I know that is why we continue to receive such wonderful news at each doctor's visit.  I'm beyond grateful for each and every one of you who has taken the time to read this and care about our sweet growing family!  

Baby 4 - 33 Weeks

I've debated how much of this we would share because really there isn't a lot to say, and we have more questions than we do answers.  However, we have good people in our lives who really love us and our family, and this seems the easiest avenue to keep everyone updated on Baby 4.

Those of you on Facebook or who have talked to us lately are aware that a few weeks ago there was some concern about the size of Baby 4.  So we waited a couple of weeks and we had a sonogram to determine if this was a concern that needed to be validated or not.  At that sonogram our OB measured Baby 4 to be in the less than third percentile.  This came with a referral to a perinatologist.  

So Thursday (at exactly 33 weeks) we went to our first visit with the perinatologist.  Now I should be honest and admit that I really was not worried about this appointment.  I assumed we'd go and she'd look at the baby and say, "Yep.  Baby is small, but so were your other babies.  However, all is well.  It was nice to meet you.  Oh, and don't forget to take these pictures of your cute little munchkin."

But it didn't go exactly like that.  For one she did not use words like munchkin.  She was much more sophisticated and official than that.  Instead she said words to us like chromosomal abnormalities and still birth.  Which was not at all how I pictured this visit going.  

She wrapped it all up with our new care plan of once a week sonograms, three times daily kick counts (10 movements per hour), and our regular visits with the OB as well.  I thought she was going to set me ablaze with her eyes when she asked what type of job I had.  Yeah, needless to say my new day will consist of going to work and sitting (no more coaching or moving really at all) and then coming home and doing nothing.  Then she told me how her goal is to keep the baby in until 37 weeks, but she will decide week to week how that will go.  So just to be sure she was really serious about all this news she'd thrown my way, I asked her if I could travel (since Lexie has an out of town meet coming up), and she said, "Um, no.  Once you are considered high risk you do not get to go anywhere."

Ohhhh... so this is a high risk thing?!?  I hadn't really put all that together.  Then it all started to sink in.  "Yes, that's right... She said chromosomal abnormalities and still birth.  Oh wait, and she said I can't do anything.  But my kids have activities."  It all just started to get jumbled in my mind because that's what things do to me.  So we made appointments for the next few weeks, and we were on our way.

On the way home Josh suggested that we find out the sex of the baby.  He didn't say it, but I was sure he was thinking it was because our baby could die before it was ever born.  She did say there was a very high risk of that in tiny babies.  Maybe he was putting those pieces together.  So I said maybe we should find out too.  Just to take one element of surprise away and to allow us to bond better with the baby.  Maybe if we love it better then it will be okay.  Maybe if I wouldn't have been so devastated at finding out I was pregnant then it would be okay.

And that's how my mind works.  In a big jumbled mess.  And usually it just spirals out of control until I have a complete emotional melt down and completely fall apart.  Then my precious husband comes and puts me back together.  But I knew yesterday was the day for quiet tears and sleep.  He was processing too.  It wasn't fair to lose it on him yet.  

I felt better after I slept.  And I started to think more rationally.  The doctor did say at the very beginning of our appointment the words I'm going to hang on to, believe in, and pray for... "There is a chance that the baby is perfectly healthy, but just small."  

So I ask that you join my family and I in prayer that this chance is reality for Baby 4, and that I will keep what's left of my sanity.  And please pray for my husband who would never let one know he is worried about a thing, but he loves this baby too and has from day one.

I will update again next week.  I'm sure it will be short and sweet.  And hopefully it will say, "Baby 4 has miraculously grown to normal baby size!"  Thank you for your love and support, sweet friends!

The Marick's in 2015

So Hubs and I decided that we'd have a theme for this year.  A key word and a Bible verse to really place our focus on this year.  The word part was easy.  We chose BRAVE!  This word really encompassed all that we wanted to accomplish this year for ourselves and our children.  

Brave can really look so many different ways.  For our family, who really cherishes our comfort zone, this is a challenge to push us beyond that point of comfort into change, progress, and growth.  The kids have come up with great ideas about standing up for what they believe, sharing God's word with others, and being true to who they are.  Little do they know, they are brave in so many ways.  I am so excited to really point out these moments to them throughout the year and continue to build their confidence in themselves and their abilities.  I feel sure they will take the brave theme and soar with it.  They really are awesome kids like that!

For the Husband and I this will be harder.  If you know us, you know how introverted Hubby is.  This in turn makes me appear to be the extrovert.  And I guess in the relationship, that would be accurate.  The truth is I have many fears.  I really don't like talking to people I don't know, I hate unknown situations, I get anxiety at the drop of a hat, I strongly fear rejection and upsetting others... well, you get the idea.  I'm really sort of blah and probably should hide in my house forever.  However, two people cannot function like that so we compensate and make do.  I am hoping by hanging onto this brave thing that we can really embrace stepping out of what's comfortable and making some great strides as individuals and as a couple.

So like I said before, we wanted a word and a Bible verse.  Choosing the word was a piece of cake.  However, there just wasn't a verse that was really speaking to me.  I should have known that walking into church today would be just what I needed.  Our verse was right there!  And even more astonishing, the message was exactly in line with being brave, only in a capacity we had yet to explore in our conversations.  (God is funny like that.)

Today's message was about making 2015 the year you build your life around God instead of God around your life.  Sounds good in theory, right?!?  I mean, we all know this is what we are supposed to do.  But how many of us, if we are truly honest with ourselves, are placing God in the center of our entire lives?  Submitting to His will?  Releasing control?  Abandoning worry for faith?  Hold on!  Go back!  Releasing control?!?  Yeah, that's what I said!  And then it hit me... having this uninhibited faith is an act of being brave for me!  Pursing God in all aspects of my life (time, finances, relationships, the steps I choose to take) takes so much bravery for me!  Because if I'm really honest with myself, it's scary to tithe when you aren't sure if there will be enough at the end of the month without giving that 10%.  It's scary to branch out to meet new people to walk on this journey with.  It's scary to release control in the decisions I make in life, and completely and utterly trust in God to guide me.  I thought I was doing some of this... but today I realized I'm really still hanging on to me being in charge in so many ways.  Am I brave enough to let go?!?  

The last thing I wrote in my notebook today were words from our Pastor John Stickl... "The passion you pursue Him with reveals the value you believe He is worth."  We all need an ah-ha moment, and today that was mine!  This year, I will be brave enough to let go and pursue God in a way I never have before.  And I hope that you, my sweet friends, will not only join me but hold me accountable.

Our Word:  Brave
Our Verse:  "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." 

- Jeremiah 29:13

TransparentME: Saving Us

The Husband and I have been together for eight years (on New Year's Day).  Only two (and some months) of that have we actually been married.  Those who know our story, know that we rode a roller coaster that should never be ridden before finally getting off at the marriage stop.  We went through things that end friendships, relationships, and marriages.  It wasn't always easy.  Many days (weeks and months) were touch and go.  Needless to say, we survived it, and we haven't killed each other yet.

Knowing the crazy we've been through it always takes me by surprise when couples reach out to us for support and advice.  This happens quite often.  Part of me wants to shout from the rooftops, "We are the total wrong people to ask!  We clearly have no idea what we are doing!  Have you watched these last eight years!?!"  Then another part of me feels like we have so much to offer because we have survived the world of betrayal, deceit, hurt, and the hardest... forgiveness.

However, our solution is not one everyone is ready and willing to make.  It has been one of (painful at times) personal growth, and it has been such an overwhelming spiritual journey for us both.  But I have been feeling very called to write this blog lately as so many people in our lives seem to need to hear our journey.

I want to preface this by saying, that not all relationships are "meant to be".  I do not condone abuse or mistreatment.  If you are not married, and these are issues you are facing then I will always recommend getting out.  I also want to say that I believe in marriage.  If you have made the commitment to be married, I believe that both parties should be committed to making it work.  If they are not, then my experience will not be helpful.  My personal experience is of two people who were willing to put in the work, and quite frankly, too prideful to give up.  But at no time in our journey have either of us put the other one in any physical danger.  This is simply something that requires professional help.

The Husband and I met in a single parents group.  We began talking and getting to know each other.  It seemed there was some interest on both parts after hanging out.  So we kicked our relationship off with a bang.  Eight years ago, on New Year's Eve, I went to work and Hubs went out with some of our other single parent friends.  He kissed another girl at midnight, and then asked me on a date the next day.  There was no real commitment so I ignored the red flags and let it slide.  We decided on New Year's Day to be a couple.  That same day we both left our date to plans we had already made with our exes.  He headed off to ski, and I headed to Oklahoma.  So here we are, one day into this "relationship" and we both were not exactly faithful on these trips.  What a way to start things off, huh?!?

This set the preface for the next stage in our relationship.  A lot of secrets, lies, dating other people, hurting each other, and always always always coming back together for more of the same torture.  I wish I had a real answer as to why we continued this pattern, and even more so, I wish I had an answer for why we kept trying.  It was so frustrating and confusing at the time.  I honestly felt like my heart was betraying me by loving him.  In all honesty, I wouldn't recommend that ANYONE stay in a situation like this.  It was detrimental to both of us emotionally, and the healing process took a long time.  After all, trust is not easily rebuilt.

I know it sounds like this was a complete tortuous time for us.  So I hope it goes without saying that in between all of this we had so many good times.  It's hard to leave when the good is REALLY GOOD.  

To complicate things even more we had children involved that we loved dearly.  To walk away would have hurt so many.  So one day we decided that leaving wasn't an option.  We knew something had to change so we started in the places we knew how.  We took leaving off the table.  It was no longer an option.  However, we couldn't continue to function in the selfish ways we were both so accustomed.  It simply wasn't fair to anyone involved.  I don't think either of us really knew what we were doing or what we even needed to do.  But we sure weren't quitting.

Now, when you get to the point that you are wide open and ready for change but you really aren't sure where to go it's like God gets so giddy up there in Heaven.  Both separately and together God took opportunities to reach into our open hearts.  And I swear to you the transformation was visible not only to us but to others around us.  Through His work we both realized that it was no longer about us.  He focused our attention to Him and we began to seek His plan for us and our family.  

I'll be honest, we are still new at this whole putting God first thing.  We are only a few years in, and it's hard!  Old habits aren't easy to kick, and there are times it's so easy to fall back into spewing hateful words or belittling each other.  I do have to admit, Hubby is much better than I am at maintaining his focus.  I'm always quicker to anger or just become irritated.  (Husband has the patience of a saint.)  But the complete dynamic of our relationship is different.  

I know that not everyone is ready to hand their relationship over to God.  I'm a complete control freak so I get it!  It's hard to say, "Here God, I know you've got this."  But it's really the only answer I have to how Husband and I have become "that couple".  There is security in being loved by a man who loves God more than he loves me.  There is comfort in being in a marriage where you know you are being prayed for every single day.  And there is complete and utter bliss in knowing and believing from the bottom of my heart that when we decided leaving was no longer an option, that it now means for eternity.  I literally will spend FOREVER with my husband.  That totally blows my mind!  (And it's probably a good thing I have so long to get it right.)

I can suggest making your relationship a priority over your kids.  I can suggest date nights, love notes, sweet texts, and making sex a priority.  Those are all things that I believe in 110%.  But those aren't the reason my marriage is what it is.  Those are just the bonuses!

So at the end of the day here is my advice... if you are single, establish your relationship with God.  Seek a Godly man, and do not waiver in this.  (It's much easier to start on the right track.)  If you are in a relationship, make a commitment to make God your priority.  It can start off as simple as attending church together.  Baby steps are still steps.  And if you are married... it's hard.  Marriage is so hard.  So you have to work even harder.  Seek help from a trusted friend or counselor who is also a believer.  Pray for your marriage and ask others to also.  But making this change where your relationship is God centered is an absolute priority.  Your marriage is your ministry.  Nurture it as such.

Hubby and I are always honored to pray for your relationship or marriage.  We hope that we can serve as a Godly couple in your life as these relationships are important to have.  If there is something we can do, please let us know.  

"Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.  A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."  - Ecclesiastes 4:12