Character

As a mother, building children of good character is probably one of the most challenging tasks I face.  My children live in a world where people seem more concerned with their reputation than they are with their character and teaching them the difference is not always easy.  

Because the proverbial glass in our home must remain half full at all times, my husband and I have chosen to take the unfortunate experiences our children witness and use them as teachable moments.  It has them allowed to see the character of their friends (and sometimes family) as well as those in the world around them.  And hopefully it is also teaching them what type of person they need to be.

I think sometimes as adults it's easy to struggle with this also.  Especially if we are the type of people who have a desire to please others.  (That would be me.)  Often times I worry more about how it will look if I do or (especially) don't do something instead of looking at my intentions behind it.  When my intentions are not pure, my character becomes tainted.  

It is not hard to see through those with the wrong intentions or those simply doing things to try to impress others.  I know it always makes me chuckle to watch from the outside the people who try to act as if they have a life that is something it is not.  I find myself having trouble respecting people who do this.  I imagine it's hard to respect yourself as well...

A little while back I began writing my TransparentME series of blog posts.  (They will pop up every now and then as I feel I am emotionally ready to share.)  But since then they have changed my life in another way.  They have inspired me to not worry about my reputation... or at least not give in to those worries by making that my focus.  Instead, my focus is my character.  Who am I when no one is looking or listening?  

I think what inspires me most to stay the course is realizing that God is always watching.  When it's all said and done, He is the one I will answer to.  He will know what I have done, who I have helped, and who I have misled.  He will know the true intent behind my actions and the state of my heart at all times.  

I'm not going to lie and say it's been easy to be honest and transparent.  I am a "pleaser".  I want people to be happy with me.  (And that doesn't always happen when you are laying the truth out there... about yourself, others, life in general... people are afraid of that sometimes!)  I want people to think I'm doing a good job at life.  But that isn't always honest.  Sometimes I'm just sucking at everything.  Probably more often than not, I'm sucking at most things!  And the truth is, when I'm not honest with myself and others that just hurts me more than anyone else.  If I'm not capable of saying that sometimes I am not making the cut, then I'm not opening myself up for real growth.  

If I could really imprint one thing in my children's minds it would be that their character counts!  Their reputation may make the nice ladies at work like them or their best friend from high school think they are still super awesome, but it WILL NOT make them into the person God wants them to be.  It will not make them be able to lay their head down at night with peace and personal fulfillment.  And quite honestly, they will just be embarrassing themselves.  And no Mama ever wants her babies embarrassed!  So ask yourself this kids, "Who are you when no one is watching?!?" 

 

Truth... The Whole Truth

... And nothing but the truth!

The past month I have repeatedly crossed paths with people telling lies or half-truths.  You know, the kind where they tell part of something that's true, and maybe it goes with the story they are telling, but may be it's not related in any way at all.  Or maybe part of what they said happened, but they have exaggerated it to make themselves look better or others look incompetent.

Anyone who knows me, knows that this does not settle well with me.  Lies and stealing are my two bugga-boos!  Yep, they just make me crazy mad because they are two things I absolutely positively just do not understand!

I'm not talking about little white lies like telling a co-worker, "Oh what a cute new hair cut" when really you don't like it.  While I would choose not to say anything at all, I am (ironically) okay with things like this because I believe it builds others up.  And building others up is always good!

It's the misrepresentation of ones self or others that absolutely drives me batty, and that is exactly what I have been running across lately.  Who knew that would be the case with adults.  It was so bad with one adult I knew, I un-friended them on Facebook.  (I feel like a 13 year old girl writing that out, but it's the truth!)   I could no longer take the half truths or the blatant misinformation they spewed from their lips.  It was becoming increasingly hard not to call them out on this so I chose to just "delete".  (Yes, big step for me... I'm a girl who does not usually hesitate to confront!)

I think the worst offenders of this are moms.  In our constant effort to compete with one another it seems we fall into two extremes.  The mom's who want to appear as if they are on top of their game 110% of the time and the mom's who try want to appear as if they are a hot mess.  Both types are rather trendy right now!  And if we are all being honest, we probably fall somewhere in between that mix on any given day (or from hour to hour).  I know I do, and if we are friends on Facebook you watch that crazy cycle of our lives play out!  I guess I just find it really upsetting that as adults, we are struggling with honesty.  What is so wrong with being who we are and putting that out there for the world to see?  

God worked so hard on each and every one of us!  When we spread untruths, whether about ourselves or others, we are not glorifying His handiwork.  We are not building each other up.  We are breaking down the very foundation upon which we stand!   We are all His children, we are all part of the same community.  We owe it to ourselves to work, share, and encourage in a way that is honest and pure!

The other day, my nine year old son and I were having a conversation about someone who was misrepresenting (and lying about) some things.  He said to me, "She just says that stuff so people will like her."  Wow!  Slap in the face!  He was right!   It is so easy to get wrapped up in how people view us that we forget to worry about how we view ourselves, and more important, how God is viewing us!

The truth is not always easy!  We all struggle with it from time to time.  And sometimes the truth makes us look really bad.  But I've found it's always easier to lay your head down at night when you have not misrepresented yourself or others. 

"Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight."  -Proverbs 12:22