Character

As a mother, building children of good character is probably one of the most challenging tasks I face.  My children live in a world where people seem more concerned with their reputation than they are with their character and teaching them the difference is not always easy.  

Because the proverbial glass in our home must remain half full at all times, my husband and I have chosen to take the unfortunate experiences our children witness and use them as teachable moments.  It has them allowed to see the character of their friends (and sometimes family) as well as those in the world around them.  And hopefully it is also teaching them what type of person they need to be.

I think sometimes as adults it's easy to struggle with this also.  Especially if we are the type of people who have a desire to please others.  (That would be me.)  Often times I worry more about how it will look if I do or (especially) don't do something instead of looking at my intentions behind it.  When my intentions are not pure, my character becomes tainted.  

It is not hard to see through those with the wrong intentions or those simply doing things to try to impress others.  I know it always makes me chuckle to watch from the outside the people who try to act as if they have a life that is something it is not.  I find myself having trouble respecting people who do this.  I imagine it's hard to respect yourself as well...

A little while back I began writing my TransparentME series of blog posts.  (They will pop up every now and then as I feel I am emotionally ready to share.)  But since then they have changed my life in another way.  They have inspired me to not worry about my reputation... or at least not give in to those worries by making that my focus.  Instead, my focus is my character.  Who am I when no one is looking or listening?  

I think what inspires me most to stay the course is realizing that God is always watching.  When it's all said and done, He is the one I will answer to.  He will know what I have done, who I have helped, and who I have misled.  He will know the true intent behind my actions and the state of my heart at all times.  

I'm not going to lie and say it's been easy to be honest and transparent.  I am a "pleaser".  I want people to be happy with me.  (And that doesn't always happen when you are laying the truth out there... about yourself, others, life in general... people are afraid of that sometimes!)  I want people to think I'm doing a good job at life.  But that isn't always honest.  Sometimes I'm just sucking at everything.  Probably more often than not, I'm sucking at most things!  And the truth is, when I'm not honest with myself and others that just hurts me more than anyone else.  If I'm not capable of saying that sometimes I am not making the cut, then I'm not opening myself up for real growth.  

If I could really imprint one thing in my children's minds it would be that their character counts!  Their reputation may make the nice ladies at work like them or their best friend from high school think they are still super awesome, but it WILL NOT make them into the person God wants them to be.  It will not make them be able to lay their head down at night with peace and personal fulfillment.  And quite honestly, they will just be embarrassing themselves.  And no Mama ever wants her babies embarrassed!  So ask yourself this kids, "Who are you when no one is watching?!?"