Fourth Grade

Tomorrow I'll walk into our local elementary school and drop my Bitty Boo off for fourth grade.  I'm not really good at that kind of thing... you know, milestones and such.  I will cry and not want to leave.  She will smile her reassuring smile and nudge me out of the door.  

All day long I'll wonder what she is doing and how her day is going.  I'm leaving her in a familiar place with someone who is a stranger to us both.  It seems a little odd that each year we get a only a few minutes to "meet the teacher"... the teacher we are entrusting our child to for the next nine months.  

Does this teacher know how special my girl is?  Does she know that my Lexie girl wears her heart on her sleeve?  Does she know that praise speaks volumes and criticism crushes her spirit?  Does she know what her eyes look like when she doesn't feel good?  Does she know she is my heart and soul?  Would she understand if I tried to tell her?

So many questions and only times holds these answers.  So many fears and unknowns.  So much blind trust... faith, if you will.

Tomorrow I'll walk into our local elementary school and leave a piece of my heart in fourth grade... and I'm just not quite ready for that yet.

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My Precious Girl,

Tomorrow as you start fourth grade, it is my hope for you that you open your heart and mind to new hopes, new dreams, new possibilities.  I hope your days are filled will laughter and learning.  I pray that you find beauty in the new knowledge you will gain and show pride in your work.  I dream for peaceful school days in a place that you feel loved, valued, and safe.  I pray that above all else, you will always be kind.  God has given you a gift to feel deep compassion for others.  I hope that you never deny that gift and that you reach out to those who many need a friend.  I pray without ceasing that you remember that who you are in Christ's eyes far exceeds who you are in the eyes of your best friend, your teachers, and even myself.

Tomorrow you take another step towards a future of independence.  But with each step forward, please remember that at the end of the day you come home to a place where it is okay to fall back... fall into the arms who love you.  A place where you don't have to be "mature" or "cool".  A place where we don't care what you wear or who you play with at recess.  A place where you are loved unconditionally.  You will find this year, and in the years to come that having this "place" is invaluable.  Because feelings will be hurt, hearts will be broken, and bad grades will come.  You will need this constant.   Please never be afraid to talk to us, share with us, let us love you.

Being your mother continues to be one of my greatest joys in this lifetime.  There is nothing you could ever do to make me feel differently.  Bitty, Mommy loves you so very much.  I am in awe of the young lady you are becoming.  I will never understand how I could have been a part of making something so miraculous... so wonderful!  But here you are... and I could not be prouder.

So tomorrow my precious angel, walk into fourth grade, and just be you!  The beautiful wonderful you that God created you to be!  I carry your heart, my sweet baby girl... I carry it in my heart!

I love you,

Mommy