Today Josh and I helped a friend of ours move. I don't feel like we did much to help her... oh how I wish we could have done so much more.
Our friend's daughter passed away a few months ago. She was only 2 years old when her life was taken. Our friend is living every parent's worst nightmare. Not only that, but she is having to leave the place she shared with her daughter... their home.
This blog tonight is short. There isn't much to be said. What can you say to something so horribly tragic.
Today Josh and I went to help a friend. While I took apart this precious 2 year old's bed... a bed she would never sleep in again... my heart ached. It ached for a Mommy so visibly hurting, it ached for a little life that had so much living left to do...
Her heart will go on living inside a darling little boy in Oklahoma. And she will fall asleep with Jesus tonight... She certainly must be the most Precious Angel of all.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
Unanswered Prayer - Because God Does Have A Plan
This past weekend Lexie's older brother, Tyler, came to visit. Lexie had no idea he was coming so it was an excellent surprise! It always amazes me how time and distance cannot separate what is in their hearts. They fit seamlessly together, and they instinctively know to cherish every moment. There isn't a minute when they are not smiling, hugging, laughing, teasing... just truly enjoying each other.
This time Hadlie was old enough to get in on all the fun. When Tyler arrived she just stared at his face. Then she would stare at Lexie's face. It was almost as if she could see the resemblance... almost like she knew. We tried to get her to say "Tyler", but she never would. Then before we knew it she was running after him and calling him "Bubba". It struck me as funny because Lexie doesn't even call him that.
The kids had an excellent time together. The wonderful thing about them is that you can have them doing activity after activity or you can just let them hang out at home and regardless they are content to be together. It's so wonderful!
It was at our point in the day where we had just got done swimming and were just hanging out that brings me to the part of unanswered prayers. You see, Lexie and Tyler share a biological father. Lexie does not see her father. He does not call. He does not visit. He sends an occasional card or gift, but other than that he has no part in her life. Tyler, on the other hand, sees their father on a regular court ordered visitation schedule.
It has always been my prayer that someday Lexie's bio dad would wake up and realize what he was missing by not being in her life. That he would quit spending his money on game systems, vehicles, poker, or whatever else and actually be a part of her life. Perhaps come to visit her... at her house, doing what she wanted to do, seeing the things that matter to her. This weekend I finally figured out why God has never let that happen.
Tyler opened his heart and shared with us his feelings about not wanting to go over there anymore. Of course there are the basic things that kids just don't like... but there were things he said that left all of us adults speechless. At no point did we pry or say much. More than anything we listened and asked an occasional open ended question allowing him to express feelings it was obvious he'd been holding in awhile. At the end of it all, I knew...
I knew Lexie would be confused if someone implied things about me that were untrue. At 7 she would not build hatred towards her father for saying those things like her brother does. She would be confused and question them. I knew Lexie would not have the profound knowledge that her brother does that they are simply trying to "buy my love"... impressive words for an 11 year old to formulate. I knew she would be scared if they took her cell phone not allowing her to contact me, tell me goodnight, etc. Story after story that he told just made it that much more clear, and when it was all said and done I knew that more than anything God was saving her from a lifetime of emotional damage. God had a plan for her... Jeremiah 29:11 in action!
Someday Lexie will probably want to know why her bio dad didn't want to be a part of her life. Now I can say with confidence that God was protecting her from hurt and confusion by not allowing that relationship to develop. She will always have her brother to tell her the truth and what things were really like there. And because of Josh she knows the unconditional love of a father... the one that's there everyday, the one that tucks her in at night, the one who prays for her future... her Daddy.
I love Tyler with all of my heart. When he walked through my front door and straight into my arms it was like holding one of my own children. It always will be. So my heart aches for him knowing how unhappy he is when he is away from his parents. None of us can change the situation. Only Tyler and the courts can do that. So it is my prayer now that whatever Tyler wants to happen will.
This time Hadlie was old enough to get in on all the fun. When Tyler arrived she just stared at his face. Then she would stare at Lexie's face. It was almost as if she could see the resemblance... almost like she knew. We tried to get her to say "Tyler", but she never would. Then before we knew it she was running after him and calling him "Bubba". It struck me as funny because Lexie doesn't even call him that.
The kids had an excellent time together. The wonderful thing about them is that you can have them doing activity after activity or you can just let them hang out at home and regardless they are content to be together. It's so wonderful!
It was at our point in the day where we had just got done swimming and were just hanging out that brings me to the part of unanswered prayers. You see, Lexie and Tyler share a biological father. Lexie does not see her father. He does not call. He does not visit. He sends an occasional card or gift, but other than that he has no part in her life. Tyler, on the other hand, sees their father on a regular court ordered visitation schedule.
It has always been my prayer that someday Lexie's bio dad would wake up and realize what he was missing by not being in her life. That he would quit spending his money on game systems, vehicles, poker, or whatever else and actually be a part of her life. Perhaps come to visit her... at her house, doing what she wanted to do, seeing the things that matter to her. This weekend I finally figured out why God has never let that happen.
Tyler opened his heart and shared with us his feelings about not wanting to go over there anymore. Of course there are the basic things that kids just don't like... but there were things he said that left all of us adults speechless. At no point did we pry or say much. More than anything we listened and asked an occasional open ended question allowing him to express feelings it was obvious he'd been holding in awhile. At the end of it all, I knew...
I knew Lexie would be confused if someone implied things about me that were untrue. At 7 she would not build hatred towards her father for saying those things like her brother does. She would be confused and question them. I knew Lexie would not have the profound knowledge that her brother does that they are simply trying to "buy my love"... impressive words for an 11 year old to formulate. I knew she would be scared if they took her cell phone not allowing her to contact me, tell me goodnight, etc. Story after story that he told just made it that much more clear, and when it was all said and done I knew that more than anything God was saving her from a lifetime of emotional damage. God had a plan for her... Jeremiah 29:11 in action!
Someday Lexie will probably want to know why her bio dad didn't want to be a part of her life. Now I can say with confidence that God was protecting her from hurt and confusion by not allowing that relationship to develop. She will always have her brother to tell her the truth and what things were really like there. And because of Josh she knows the unconditional love of a father... the one that's there everyday, the one that tucks her in at night, the one who prays for her future... her Daddy.
I love Tyler with all of my heart. When he walked through my front door and straight into my arms it was like holding one of my own children. It always will be. So my heart aches for him knowing how unhappy he is when he is away from his parents. None of us can change the situation. Only Tyler and the courts can do that. So it is my prayer now that whatever Tyler wants to happen will.
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