Sunday, May 1, 2016

Parenting in the Valley

This season of life has been such a mixture of emotions.  While I am relishing in the joy of being Cooper's Mama, I am feeling more defeated than ever when it comes to giving the proper attention to my other children.  Especially my third little love, who admittedly has been always my biggest parenting challenge.

I see the sadness in her eyes daily when she has to crawl out of my lap so Cooper can crawl in.  I feel her heartbreak when I'm too quick in snapping at her for not being careful enough around the baby.  I sense her desire to find her place, to please me, and most of all have my full and undivided attention.  And my heart is breaking too... Knowing I'm failing her every single day, seeing the hurt in her beautiful blue eyes.

I know God gave me these particular children with these particular needs and personalities, yet I'm not meeting those needs or nurturing those little personalities the way I should be.  And the worst part is I feel like I'm drowning trying to make it all happen and run smoothly.  No matter what I do someone gets the short end of the stick.  There is just not enough Mama to fill everyone's cup.

I would never wish away my time in the valley because I know it is there that growth happens.  I can only hope that when this season is over and we are back on the mountain tops, no damage has been done and most of all... I hope my baby girl knows how very much I love her.