Rainbow Dash

They had all the components to make a Rainbow Dash costume at Party City.  There was a full blown Pinkie Pie costume in her size.  I thought surely we would be set, and I would have escaped making a Halloween costume this year.  But when those big blue eyes look at you and say, "I want you to make it."  Well, by God, you make a Rainbow Dash costume.

There probably isn't supposed to be profanity along the way, but there was.  There probably wasn't supposed to be three trips to Hobby Lobby involved either,  but there was that too.  How could one little pony, excuse me... Pegasus, be such a pain in the butt?!?  

I started with this fantastic model, a crap ton of tulle, scissors, ribbon, some glue, and just enough crazy to think I would tackle this in no time. Honestly, I feel like this is the point in which someone should have reminded me that I hate making tutus.  It's tedious and time consuming.  Tulle is a... well, not fun... to work with.  Plus, with this whole pregnancy thing I've taken on, my patience is at a negative number.  (If that's a thing.  I'm pretty sure it is.)

So I cut and cut and started tying my little heart out.  (Shout out to Bitty for holding the ribbon while I tied.)  It wasn't long before I realized that I didn't have near enough tulle to finish this skirt.  I contemplated making wider tail to make up for it, but then I realized having a tail wider than her butt might not be the look I was going for.  Then I'd just be mad at myself for taking a short cut, and I'd go back and redo it.  Cue the phone call to Husband.

Husband was out searching the town for a light blue leotard.  I could tell he was eager to head back to Hobby Lobby to get more tulle for me, so in an effort to make his day even brighter I went ahead and asked for a piece of felt also.  He sends me pics to make sure he got the right stuff.  (Such a gem Husband is.)  I tell him I can't really tell in the pictures if it's what I want, but it seems okay.

Sweet Husband gets home and the tulle he got was HORRIBLY wrong.  It wasn't even blue.  I'm not sure what he was thinking.  Bless his heart.  That meant he had to go back.  But since Husband loves Hobby Lobby and crafty women and running my errands... well, who am I to stop him?!?  

In the mean time, I put together some ears for this costume.  I had everything I needed for that.  And I got the "cutie mark" completed.  (Thank you second trip to Hobby Lobby and the felt request.)  I was pretty proud.  It was looking somewhat like my model.

Well, the third time's a charm.  Finally enough tulle in the right color.  Husband has become a hit with the Hobby Lobby ladies after his third trip.  They built his ego claiming him to be a "saint" and me the "lucky wife".  Whatever... I got my tulle.

The show goes on.  THREE.  HOURS.  LATER.  I finished this Rainbow Dash costume.  I tried it on her because I'll be damned if Halloween night comes and that costume doesn't work like a freakin' charm!  I immediately decided I put too much work into it for her to wear to her Halloween party tomorrow night.  (That'll teach her to turn down the Party City costume!)  So here we are.  Ghetto rigged as all get out, but by God.... SHE'S RAINBOW DASH!

My mom sees her and excitedly exclaims, "You're a cat!!"

Processing

In yesterday's post I filled everyone in on our latest surprise, THE BABY!  Today, I thought I'd share a little more about how I have processed it all.  It's been extremely hard not to write and share my feelings as this has all been happening because that is how I process.  The writing it down is cathartic, and the sharing it holds me accountable to my feelings.  It requires me to process them and face them rather than push them aside.

I know that many of you who know me personally also know that surprises and I go together about as well as oil and water.  Needless to say, this has been a transition for me.

I guess I should back track a little.  Josh and I had been working hard on some life plans and goals that we had set.  I had just settled in to that feeling that things were going in the right direction.  I truly felt like big things were about to happen for us.  (Clearly, I just had NO IDEA!)  We had short term plans of moving and making some changes for the big kids, and we had long term plans of raising these kids and opening our home to fostering and adoption.  

In the instant it took to pee on that stick, I could feel my entire world shifting out of it's comfort zone.  Now in all fairness, my comfort zone is quite small.  I like routine and predictability.  The only spontaneity I'm up for is that in which I impulsively concoct and con my ever patient husband into.  I'm a creature of habit... a homebody... and generally pretty boring.

It was extremely hard to maintain my composure as I told my husband and close family and friends about our news.  I am a firm believer that life begins at conception.  I believe in God's plan.  I believe that babies are a blessing... always.  I hold so many beliefs that were being tested.  And then the fear... oh the fear!  If I didn't instantly attach to this baby quick enough would God take it from me?  Was I even worthy to be it's mother when I'm so unsure about my feelings?  I knew these feelings were irrational.  God doesn't take babies.  But that's how my mind works... impulsive and irrational.  That's me.

After some tears and deep reflection I had to mourn the loss of the dreams I currently had.  The changes that would not come at this time.  The children I wanted to love and care for that would not be mine.  I had to realize I could still do all the things I wanted to do, but perhaps it would look differently.  God had a different plan for our family, and I had to trust in that.  Obviously, that is not always my strength.

Now I'm at a place where I'm feeling much better about things.  There are still days this all seems so surreal.  I've accepted the fact that my feelings are real and okay.  I know that history shows that it takes me awhile to bond with my babies in utero.  (I think this this is partly due to feeling sick and tired all the time.)  But I can still be a good mother.  I'm still worthy of having children to love and care for.  And if God sees fit that Josh and I bring another child into this world, I will welcome that.  It is truly an honor that I do not take lightly.

Today, I have no idea what life will look like by the time the baby arrives in April.  There are so many things I am unsure of.  But today I am at peace knowing that I am the proud mother of four children who are so very loved.  And for today, that's enough.

Greens Baby

So we've officially blasted all over social media that...

Yep... That's right!  Baby #4 is on the way!  I have no doubt that leaves many people going, "What on earth are they thinking?"  "Don't they know what prevents that?"  "Didn't they just say their kid slept with grapes in her mouth?"  "They've lost their minds!"  And yeah... maybe we have!  There are certainly days I think that as I'm juggling our life of homeschooling, gymnastics, baseball, room parent, etc.  

However, the biggest question I've been getting is, "Was this planned or was it a surprise?"  It makes me giggle when people ask.  And I certainly don't mind answering.  So here is my answer... Baby #4 was a surprise to our family but certainly part of God's plan for us.  Here is our story:

Since we had Hadlie five years ago, we have been practicing natural family planning.  For many reasons we didn't feel as if birth control was a fit for us.  We charted like crazy people, and we were extremely accurate.  Not one mistake.  Until July.  Our first "uh oh" in five years.  We knew that day when we went to chart it (told you we did this like crazy people) that we had played with fire.  But honestly we figured that the odds were in our favor.  We weren't careful for a year and half before we finally got Miss Hadlie.  But one time is all it takes!

Of course this made no sense to me.  A year and a half before getting Hadlie and one time for baby #4?!?  So I began researching.  What had I been doing differently?  What made me so fertile this time?  Didn't my body remember it only likes to get pregnant in December?  

I began looking back.  I had been on a health kick.  (Which I have quickly thrown out the window to eat anything and everything that I want until this baby comes!!)  I had been walking, using our It Works Wraps, and drinking my Greens religiously.  So which part of this made me Fertile Myrtle?!?  

I believe hands down it was the Greens (with the help of the Wraps).  The Greens correct your body's alkalinity.  What do you find when you research alkalinity and pregnancy?  Well, the more alkaline your body, the easier it is for you to get pregnant!  (Which makes total sense when you think about how an alkaline body works against cancer!)  And BAM!  As soon as I read that it all clicked! 

This is my little Greens Baby!  I have no doubt that they were doing exactly what they were designed to do in my body, and this baby is my proof of that!  Most people get more energy and become healthier.  I got a BABY!  Talk about RESULTS!  

Now that I have looked into it more, I know that I'll start back on my health kick as soon as I'm able to with baby and breastfeeding.  I was feeling good and starting to lose some weight.  (I've gained every pound plus some back.  Thank you constant nausea only cured by food... and lots of good meds!)  But since we know the Greens do some serious work in my body, Daddy will be going on a field trip soon... SNIP SNIP ;)

Edited to add:  We've had several questions regarding the Greens.  You can find a product description here.  Please e-mail me at joshnjessmarick@gmail.com if you have any questions regarding the Greens or the specifics of what I was doing/using.