Just One Night

Josh and I had planned to go out of town this weekend to a benefit in Oklahoma.  Unfortunately, Josh could not find someone to work for him in time for us to be able to still attend.  At the last minute he was able to find someone to work for him so we planned to go camping.  Our back up plan seemed like a good one, and we were excited.  After all, we hadn't had a single minute alone since our wedding night.  

Anyone who has children probably already knows how this story goes.  Yep, our kids schedule changed, and that nixed our plans!  So here we are... married for two weeks... our first chance to get some time together... and wham, it's not going to happen!

Both of us had already taken the time off work so we agreed to just go ahead and keep the days off.  After all, we had a zillion in one things to do.  (Like get my name changed, a task I've been avoiding... but that's another story.)  We spent day one doing some house stuff and taking care of the kiddos (the reason for the change in plans to begin with), and tomorrow we will go forward with our plans to get everything else done.

On one hand, it's a good thing that we didn't get to go anywhere because we did have stuff that needed to get done here.  Stuff that will lift a huge weight off my shoulders when it is finally done.  On the other hand, it is so frustrating that we haven't had any time together.  Is it really too much to ask that we get just one night alone together?!?  It makes me wish we would have just sucked it up and went on a honeymoon for a week right after the wedding.  But we didn't because we didn't want to leave the kids in the middle of all that's going on right now.  

I love my kids, and I'm grateful for every moment with them.  But right now I'd really like just one night with my husband (with no child in between us).  Maybe next year... for our anniversary... if our kids' schedules allow it.

Wedding Planning

I always imagined I'd be the girl who would blog about every step of planning my wedding.  I'd share the intricate details about choosing the right florist and the struggles of finding a dress.  I would capture these moments so they would stay close in my heart forever.  Then on bad days, I could look back and remember all the joy that went into planning my wedding and the blissful feelings I had as I prepared to marry Mr. Joshua Marick.

Then we started planning.  And it was hard.  And it was messy.  And in the end it was a beautifully perfect testimony of God's presence in our lives... my life to be more specific.  So here is my account of planning the wedding of my dreams to the man of my dreams.

Josh proposed on New Year's Eve.  Since our anniversary (dating) was on New Year's Day, it was the perfect way to finish off our 4th year together.  We started our 5th year engaged!  How super exciting!

Immediately the planning began.  I knew right away that I wanted rustic chic feel to the wedding, and thanks to an episode of David Tutera, I wanted the reception to be in a barn.  So I googled party barns, and found one I loved.  Upon doing research about the place, I found out it was actually the venue used in the episode of David Tutera that had become my wedding inspiration!  And that was my sign (because I'm big on signs), that this was meant to be.  MD Resort in Aurora, TX would be my wedding venue.

I called and scheduled a meeting for us to go visit.  It was a long drive and in the country.  I questioned my decision for a split second.  But then we arrived and we walked around and talked numbers, and well... it was all fitting together.  Then we got to view the rooms at MD Resort.  It is a Bed & Breakfast so each room has it's own little theme.  We got to the suites and walked into the Western Vista.  It was a two story suite that smelled like the Lake House my family had when I was growing up.  Another sign.  It was meant to be.  At that moment, I knew all I had to do was convince Josh that this was what he wanted also.  I mean, he couldn't really be set on the church wedding he'd always dreamed of, could he?!?

Because Josh is who he is, he had an opinion on things.  And he needed to feel like his opinion was heard and mattered.  So I listened and my heart started to slowly break.  I didn't want to take away his dream wedding just so mine could happen.  After all, I could make anything work.  But then in true Josh fashion he goes, "Is this what you really want?"  My hopeful eyes screamed "Yes!  Yes!  Yes!" at him, while I sheepishly said, "Yes.  It really is."  And he kissed me and agreed that MD Resort was the perfect place for our wedding!  I was ecstatic!

MD Resort has a full kitchen and does their own catering.  We could bring in all our own vendors except for food.  And I had already told them all I wanted to do was rent the venue.  I did not want any of their wedding packages because I had my own visions... I was a DIY bride!  DIY could easily be replaced with crazy, but we won't go there right now.  So back to the food, they were able to provide my rustic meal of brisket, loaded mashed potatoes, green beans, and rolls.  We were set.  So I thought...

Enter first problem.  These people wanted money.  Crazy, I know!  Well, when you are planning a wedding and your family is on a huge budget (that's another story for another day) then you can't just write check after check without thinking and planning.  And these budget problems seemed to be the trend for the remainder of the wedding planning.

So wedding planning started to become more and more stressful.  There were wonderfully exciting moments, like finding my dress followed by more frustrating moments... the dress would have to wait.  This pattern continued throughout the entire wedding planning process.  Numerous nights I spent crying over the frustration I felt about it not coming easy, the way I always imagined.  Then I would cry out of the guilt I felt for being so materialistic and wanting so many things that truly didn't matter as long as I married Josh.  Then the road blocks began to feel more like signs.  Perhaps this was God telling me not to marry Josh.  Cue more tears.  More confusion.  And a lot more guilt.  

But every time I wanted to give up and run to the Justice of the Peace something would work out.  The pieces would start to fit together.  The signs I thought pointed in the direction of running away and leaving Josh far behind me began to point straight to God's goodness.  

Throughout this entire process my family and I saw firsthand the work of our good Lord.  Sometimes it came in the form of our daily devotionals.  Other times it was friends or family members.  And for me, it was the constant reassurance from Josh.  Never giving up.  Never failing to hold me when I needed it.  Never belittling my wedding dreams and the importance they held in my mind.  

Eventually I began to see God's work for what it was, and I began to quit doubting His plan.  Because as silly as it may seem, my wedding was important to God.  Because I am important to God.  I finally came to the realization one day that God was going to provide all we needed.  But I had to stop doubting Him.  I had to trust.  And amazingly enough, once I did, the wedding planning became the blissful feeling I had hoped it would be from the beginning.  

I know God's hand in my wedding was shown through the countless people who love Josh and I.  It was shown more often than not through my parents selfless giving and sacrificing.  It was shown through my sister, my aunt, my grandparents.  All 120 people in attendance (and the others who weren't) had a hand in making it happen... they helped make the dreams of my wedding day come true in ways I never knew possible.

Needless to say, Josh and I are so very blessed.  There aren't enough "thank you's" in the world that could possibly express the way we feel about everyone who made our dreams come true.  Every single detail was just the way I wanted it.  There was nothing in the world that could have made our day more perfect.  Not even warmer weather... because that just added to our memory bank of the most spectacular day of our lives!

I am now that wife who thinks she has the most perfectly imperfect husband.  I'm more in love with him than I ever knew possible.  When I look back on planning our wedding it is not what I thought it would be.  I don't see flower arrangements or interviews with vendors.  I see love.  An overwhelming, out of this world kind of love.  And I see lessons... lessons in trusting God.  Much needed lessons in patience.  Lessons in sacrifice (thanks Mom & Dad).  

I will forever be grateful to my parents for all that they did and all the sacrifices they made.  The heartache they shared, the tears they wiped, and the absolute joys I was able to share with them.  I will always hold close to me the moments of trying on my dress with the people I love right there beside me, praying with my dad on a particularly rough day, endless dress shopping with my mom (for my mom), and cramming crafts and wraps into the most crazy wonderful wedding week a girl could imagine!  

This was my story of planning my wedding.  My story of love.  My story of dreams come true.  

I can't wait to share the wedding day details with you!